Beck's biblical analysis: "If Noah were here today, he might... just pick up a hammer and start helping build the Ark"

No he doesn't, shaggles.

Genesis 9:12-15 reads

12) And God said, This is the token of the covenant which I make between me and you and every living creature that is with you, for perpetual generations:

13) I do set my bow in the cloud, and it shall be for a token of a covenant between me and the earth.

14) And it shall come to pass, when I bring a cloud over the earth, that the bow shall be seen in the cloud:

15) And I will remember my covenant, which is between me and you and every living creature of all flesh; and the waters shall no more become a flood to destroy all flesh.

So, if Noah were alive today, the first thing he'd say is likely "Whoa! That was weird." Then he'd spot Beck and his ark building, and make him stop that foolish nonsense. "God said no more flood, Glenn."

Unlike most Christians on TV, I actually read my Bible, though not as much as I should.

Glenn Beck is amormon. The bible they quote is much different than a King James version and none of their edifices contain a cross. .

If nothing else, how could every single species of animal on earth have lived within walking distance of Noah's house?

And I'm with you: There's no way it could be heaven, for ME, if it's already filled with the same funny-mentalist whack-jobs that have annoyed and infuriated me throughout my life.

We need to restore the sepration of church and state, as a matter of principle, and we need to get back to science, free of religious medling. We need to put religion back where it belongs: as a personal matter of faith - not science and not public policy.

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“Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able?
Then he is not omnipotent.
Is he able, but not willing?
Then he is malevolent.
Is he both able and willing?
Then whence cometh evil?
Is he neither able nor willing?
Then why call him God?” ~Epicurus

I'm sure his children would tell us his drug habits have resulted in some Abraham Complex moments too.

If Noah had a box of hammers, that box would be more intelligent than Glenn Beck.

Great tie-in! Yes, why do we need to worry about rising sea levels, there is no climate change!

Wow. BIBILCAL evidence for the perils of Gloabl Warming.

Well played sir, well played.

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One might ask WHY we have to spoon-feed these idiots, but still... WELL PLAYED!

The Republicans do not need scientific evidence; they need loosely correlated and slightly manipulated scripture to affirm their beliefs.

So, if you're telling me God is the one inflicting climate change on us, then I believe you. If you're telling me that people are causing it based on carbon dating and scientific evidence revealing a spike in atmospheric carbon levels since the industrial revolution, then I am obligated to tell you that you're lying for the vast left-wing conspiracy.

I mean what is "science" anyways? Numbers, equations, and theories? IPODs? I'll stick to my 2,000+ year-old book for the truth. Thank you.

Not if we're talking about the literal word of God, baby.

Get on board the crazy train!